You don't want me now~

Emotional has been like a roller coaster again...

All I could I think now is running away again.. This time running away is different for me.. I want to go oversea.. I might not be rich.. But I am sad again staying here in Malaysia.. Should I just leave Malaysia to go Australia study? Since I am not happy with everything here.. I just want to runaway and put everything aside.. Since nobody could keep up with my outrageous demands.. I guess I should do it alone.. 

I might be so unhappy till I got a feeling I could leave everything behind here.. No more freelance, no more close friends, no more boyfriend and no more nightlife here.. Who knows if I die oversea? At least they are not as sad as I am depressed till death here.. 

It is really hard for me to continue living here since everything does not goes what I want it to be.. I feel not motivated to do anything except for buying airplane tickets to runaway from here.. That is all I want to do now.. Nothing else but that.. 

I even thought off retiring from freelance job.. I am getting tired of it.. The competition is too high and in other people eyes I am just a fat depressed bitch.. But I am still not ready to work full time.. My life has been put on PAUSE. And I do not know whether I should press PLAY or STOP.. It is just so confuse.. 

xoxo