It kills me hard~~~

Sometimes I feel very lonely..

Not to sound pathetic..

But it has been real hard for me these few weeks for me to walk through..

My sister left to Melbourne few weeks ago..

I thought she will be happy there.. But when I saw her crying today and look through her pictures in Australia.. It really hurt me.. I miss her a lot... I am also very worry about her.. I do not what to do.. I want to comfort her but I don't know how.. And seeing my mum also cries when comforting her breaks my heart.. I do not what to do.. 

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Besides that, there is something bothering for a long time..

I could not accept the truth.. It kills me... I could not get over it and move forward.. I am still grieving about the pain I feel whenever I hear about it.. I had to pretend I am okay with it but I am not.. 

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Then learning my friends are not longer exist makes me feel lonely.. I felt that last year but last year was not as bad as this year.. Suddenly I feel that there is no one left. I am alone to deal with all this shit.. 

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It hasn't been a good year for me.. I just feel like running away to other countries all the time to runaway from the problem and never face the truth.. I am not that strong after all.. 

Why life is so complicated?

xoxo